Gratitude Journal, Looking at Week Four

This week was a lot. I mean, a lot! Some good, some not-so-good, some downright crazy and some serious AtHomeItis. (Totally a word.)

I've now watched all the current seasons of Returning the Favor and ugly cried pretty much every time. Let's label it catharsis. https://www.facebook.com/ReturningTheFavor/ Also, I don't like Mike Rowe anymore. (So not true because I just bought his damn book.)

Just we've almost approached a sort of routine for homeschooling...now E has Spring Break this week. I can't even with this ish.

I can sum up the totality of our situation with a quote from E as I was vibing a little Jo-Bro tonight, singing "What a Man Gotta Do" and naturally had to dance. Chris may have joined and and over our singing and dancing, E remarked, "And this is how I die. In quarantine, with my parents dancing."

We are killing this parenting thing, Covid-19, and homeschooling...all in one booty shake.

Gratitude Journal Week Three

Taking a bit of a different approach in titles as our new stay-at-home order extends to pretty much May. And let's be frank, I didn't expect this to play out differently.

To backtrack a bit: once I heard the news that our studio was closing on March 16th, I took a moment...I walked through our two practice rooms, the prop room, both locker rooms and I paused - because I really don't know when I'll be in that space again.

I miss that place and the people I've come to love more than I can express. 💖

We are at the crux of this virus and the more we stay home, the faster we get back to our 'normal' lives. Whatever that will look like. As of right now there are not even enough tests to determine who 'has it' or who has the plain old flu. Much less hospital beds and ventilators for those who require them.

And I've got a serious side eye going to those "celebs" who pull that do-you-know-who-I-am card to get tests for themselves in front of those needed for real people at risk. Nobody is that special.

In a conversation with my brother today (who is in the health care industry) he said our entire future is going to be altered. Our outlook will be forever changed. Our ongoing behaviors will play out differently as a result of this global pandemic.

Remember how 9/11 irrevocably moved our collective conscious...this experience will be remembered much the same. It's not a terrorist attack that is pushing the needle this time but in some ways it's scarier. It's our neighbors who insist on pool parties, or beach bonfires, or something as small as a playdate that perpetuate this epidemic.

I know it's hard. I  know it's frustrating, I know it's boring. But please, STAY HOME!

Gratitude Journal Day Twelve

(I totally had to look up how to write out 12. Just keepin' it real.)

It's amazing how a couple purposeful actions can swing things around mentally. Really need to write this stuff down to remember it.

Wait...that's exactly what this is. 🙌

I got the most wonderful 'check in' text from a new friend today AND she invited me to a Virtual Coffee Hour tomorrow in the company of what sounds like some awesome ladies ready to dive into bigger emotional depth in life. I'm a little nervous, but in the words of Kevin Pearson, "I'm all in."

(Don't even pretend that season finale didn't uplift and wreck you at the same time!)

This afternoon, my lovely manager (and friend!) hosted a virtual yoga class that my company calls "Restore" and boy, it sure lived up to its name. The stretches were great but the most special part was hearing her voice and seeing the faces of people I miss dearly.

So today? I am relishing community and I cannot wait to hug EVERYONE again sometime soon!

Gratitude Journal Day Ten/Eleven

These are crazy times. I've begun limiting my access to social media because while the memes are amusing, the anxiety produced by the constant flood of information is not.

I can only imagine how scary it must be for people who are sole wage earners or those two income families who had both people laid off.

This will NOT be a political blog ever - but I simply cannot see how a stimulus package will help everyone. There are too many people in this position. In my state there were an unprecedented amount of people - literally millions - who filed for unemployment last week. Most of which for the first time.

I am grateful that we have resources to have me stay at home for an undetermined time. Things are going to be very challenging, but we will get through it.

Today I am grateful for the black beans soaking in the crock pot for Caribbean Black Bean Soup to feed my family tonight. It will be healthy, delicious, and enough for two meals.

I'm turning my focus back to the healing things I can do - even something as simple as a meal - and not what I cannot control.

Gratitude Journal Day Eight/Nine

Not gonna lie, this second week in isolation hit hard. Still trying to sort things on an emotional level and not react to false information or give way to panic. The uncertainty is exhausting and weighted with other life changes, well, I'm just trying not to crack. Or maybe figure out how to crack softly rather than exploding.

Keeping connected with my people really helps. I'm loving the virtual things going on right now...I miss the in person chats and hugs, but even virtual touches are healing.

Two things I am grateful for today:

I got to live chat with my niece yesterday for over an hour. I absolutely adore her and ANY time spent with her is filled with laughs, memories, and so much love.

And then today, my daughter figured out how to create an acai bowl - which means she's on breakfast duty for the foreseeable future.

Hang in there, friends!

Gratitude Journal Day Seven

You guys...that huge superstore who's name starts with 'W' had toilet paper today! A neighbor told me and my keys were in hand faster than butter melts in a hot skillet.

Not only that, they had an employee monitoring the area and reminding everyone ONE item per person. (Which applied to wipes, TP, paper towels, etc. - SO smart!)

* In other news, I'm back to drinking as much water as I should. :-)

We're gonna get through this and I have to believe we're going to be changed as a nation. In a good way. Nothing like some enforced down time and a few supply shortages to put things in perspective.

I am grateful for a sense of humor...and freaking toilet paper!

Gratitude Journal Day Five/Six

I missed posting yesterday but it's ok. Not going to beat myself up over it.

Back today with a story you couldn't make up if you tried.

As per our 'new normal,' we went on a family walk this morning. We wandered around our neighborhood, completing our usual loop. It was nice to see other people out and about, waving and saying, "Hello!"

And then we came across this couple at an intersection - on the opposite side of the street. Once they spotted us, the man grabbed the woman's arm and they both froze in place, waiting to see what we were going to do. I felt bad because they both looked panicked but didn't say a word.

My little family quickly hustled around the corner and down our street, never getting within 50 feet of the couple. I hope they are okay and safe but the experience left me a bit sad.

This lingering feeling of sadness hasn't let go yet...I mean, were they truly scared of us? Or were they worried about infecting us? Who knows.

I'm trying to do my best to live in love and faith in all this - some days it's easier than others.