Gratitude Journal Day Three

Today my whole family (3 humans and 1 doggo) took a walk. At 10am. On a Thursday. 

Stuff like that only happens on vacation.

We walked through the Village and stopped for a quick photo here:

It was healing to put aside anxiety and uncertainty for a moment and enjoy moving and breathing. The mental shift the fresh air provided is no small thing either.

I am grateful for family, the ability to exercise, and sunshine.

Gratitude Journal Day Two

Today's offering? A completely empty laundry hamper.

No darks, colors or light clothing. Nada.

The amount of laundry we 3 generate each week still amazes me.

Reminds me of that saying: 'Based on the amount of laundry I do each week, 

more people than I am aware of live in this house.'

But today my hamper is empty and heart is full.

(Cheesy I know, but bear with me.)

Gratitude Journal Day One

In light of all the self-isolation, social-distancing, and general crazy around our current health crisis - I thought I'd challenge myself to find something to be grateful for every single day and write about it.

I'm going to be looking for the not-so-profound things I might miss in our regular schedule. Those small gestures offered up that could be overlooked in our daily hustle. A moment of peace that isn't compromised by 'busy.'

Here's a photo of something that made me really happy today!

I know, it's a made bed. NBD, right? But hear me out...

I am Team Make-Your-Bed. I am a bed-maker from well, ever since I can remember. I make my bed immediately after getting out of bed. Even before coffee. 

However, due to my current schedule of opening the studio 4 mornings a week, I typically come come to an unmade bed, as hubs couldn't care less about this task. It hurts me every day. (Not really.)

But seriously, it makes me feel disorganized and undisciplined and I do not like to live in that space.

Today, Day One of EVERYBODYSTAYATHOME, I made my bed. And life is good.

Sooo, funny story…

I have started a text message, 2 emails (one work-related no less), and 3 conversations like that this past week. Not kidding. It’s like I’m at a place in life where incredible things are happening. Some within my control and some totally off board and possibly from outer space.

Or maybe not. 

Maybe these happenings are totally random...and maybe they are wishes being manifested. Either way, I am in. And resoundingly open. (I've taken to reminding myself multiple times a day to stay that way!)

Let me give you two ‘for instances.’

1. I have long dreamed of a job, in a profession that I love, where I can truly be me. Detail oriented, thoughtful, goofy, sarcastic, joyful, and possibly unorthodox.

I have that. 

2, My husband and I always dreamed of retiring in San Diego, CA.

Guess where we live. (Despite being nowhere near retiring.)

Is life perfect now? Hell no. Is it all good? Same answer. Are there completely crap days on a regular basis? Yep. Even so, the positivity I allow in can alter a pattern. Change a course. Maybe even make someone's day.

Yep, I am paying attention to all of this. 

Not long after relocating my brother asked me, “Has it sunk in yet? Where you live?” I replied, “I’m not sure.” Honestly, I hope it never settles in and I am in a perpetual state of awe and appreciation.

Good Memories and Funny Mistakes

Below is a fuller version of a story I shared at dad's service. I'm so glad I made notes of what I wanted say because I absolutely do not remember the majority of it. As much as I dislike speakers who simply 'read' their remarks, I am forever grateful I did.

**********

My dad really enjoyed being right. And he was, more often than not. He was one of the smartest people I know and loved learning about new things, whether by reading or experiencing them. He was forever open to new adventures, people, and places.

Years ago, I was living and working in a small-ish seaside town in Nor Cal. My parents and siblings decided to ditch the central valley and spend a weekend in another town just to the south of me. (This town was famous for having a celeb mayor with the catch phrase, "Go ahead, make my day.")

But I digress.

My dad called me with directions to where they were staying and I diligently wrote them down. Yes, handwritten directions...this was long before printing mapquest directions, and light years from google maps or waze. It was the early days of cell phones too, when they were huge and clunky with horrible connections and mostly you had to shout to be heard.

I made it to the town they were in but could not seem to find the exit dad specified. I drove up and down the coast several times before I finally decided to call him. (Remember cell phone calls were SO expensive back then!)

While talking with him, I told him I could't find the "Fern Sin" exit he'd mentioned earlier. He was a bit testy with me and said several times that the exit is clearly marked. He remarked maybe I wasn't looking closely enough. Umm, ok.

Finally I said, "Dad, I can't find "Fern Sin" anywhere, but I keep driving by a "Fern Canyon" exit that's abbreviated, "Fern C-y-n."

Dad was silent for a long moment and then he said, "Take that exit."

**********

We laughed about it later and it evolved into a running joke in our family. A placemarker to remind us even the most intelligent people miss things. Make mistakes. Get confused. And that it's ok. It might eventually become a story you'll love to retell.

13 months, dad, and there's so much I want to tell you about.

Beautiful Beginnings

I am still kind of amazed at the circumstances that placed me where I am today. Both the good and the hard parts. I didn’t understand all the moving pieces while they were flying about, but I can easily see why I am here now. 

The studio where I work has quickly become another beautiful part of this life’s journey. I know where I come from - shout out to #fusionfamily - so I recognize where there’s a wonderful foundation for love, connection, and growth.

My co-workers are all - without exception - professional, uplifting, witty, understanding & generous with their knowledge as we’ve all together ‘learned the ropes’ of opening a brand new location. And we have so much fun connecting with each other every week.

I KNOW. It sounds too good to be true. But it really, truly is!

Then, we get to turn around and offer all this goodness to our members…and that is an incredible thing. In fact it is a huge thing in this industry. It’s what sets us apart from the (literally) hundreds of studios in the surrounding area. I’m so proud to tell people where I work!

As I think about 2020, I anticipate reaching new goals, both personally and professionally. And the best bit? I know I’ll be well-supported in both at this company.

Now that’s a Happy New Year!

Sunday Thoughts

In this year of learning how to live without dad, one of the most remarkable experiences has been having people who know loss reach out. Even in the midst of a storm in their own lives. Especially when I was keeping pretty much everyone at arms length - a determined few kept checking in.

Cousins, old friends, new friends...I've been humbled by the people who willingly shared the burden with me. And I appreciate even more the ones who didn't co-opt my loss with their own, but simply acknowledged our collective struggle.

A few in particular have realigned the course of grief for me and I am so grateful. Who knew you could be grateful and grieving at the same moment? I don't intend to list names - but you people know who you are - and I love you.

It sounds like a cliche but you made me want to be a better human. A better mom and wife and friend. Your thoughtfulness reminded me to reach out anyway and love bigger...because really, as Ram Dass said, "We're all just walking each other home."